Blog

Join the tarot course: https://www.historiailliusitineris.com

Link referenced: https://www.hermetic.com

Subjects discussed in these lofty thoughts:

• The Tower tarot card and Metaphors of Movement
• Identity as a fake persona
• Personal development versus personal discovery
• Tarot: The fool’s journey
• Failure and the presuppositions of NLP
• Alchemical symbolism and the fortune tarot card
• Andy hates intuitives
• Benefits of a classical education
• The issue of recurrent failure and survivor bias
• Andy hates therapists
• Coaches coaching coaches to coach coaches
• Fortune, chance, and playing roulette
• Aleister Crowley and ritual
• The role of the magician
• James Wasserman and The Gnostic Mass
• Solutions and aquatic gods
• Baphomet and Solve et Coalgula
• Qabalah and the God “I Am” (EHEIEH)
• Attributions, ‘Tzaddi is Not The Star’
• The Holy Grail

I’ve been asked what my beef was with the non-existent but always-keen-to-take-your-money British Board of NLP. Why, given so many self-appointed accreditation bodies out there, did I single out the British Board of NLP (BBNLP)? Well, the reason was simple enough – a “British Board” by definition is representative of the government.

The BBNLP was not my representative; it was just a money-making scam that claimed to be my representative.

There was no board, no elected representatives, and no articles of association or governance. They did have a logo, though.

Much may be said about the various societies, associations, guilds, and organisations that abound in the complementary therapy field, but at the end of the day, they can only claim to represent their paid-up/signed-up members. If the members don’t like the way they are represented, they can vote for a change or simply leave. That is democracy in action. Some long-standing societies and guilds survive principally because their members are quite happy with the way their representative organisation is run. Any thoughts I may have on the way they are run are largely irrelevant if I am not a member. A “British Board” represents me whether I have signed up or not. If I work in the relevant field, then the British Board is my representative at the highest level of governance in the field.

But it wasn’t. It was just a scam, and now it has gone. For that, we can be grateful.

I’m just surprised it took so long and that so few other people made any fuss about it. My suspicion is that too many people simply enjoyed the lie’s existence; it was a convenient illusion through which they felt they could gain some credibility. Believing and conveying that a “British Board of NLP” existed somehow matched the desire for some NLPers to believe that “NLP” is somehow a “profession”.

All this happened years ago, yet do a Google search on “member of the BBNLP”, “approved by the British Board of NLP”, etc., and you will see just how many morons still advertise and claim this membership.

Experience tells me that most people who work in the therapy “industry” are not always all that business-savvy. You only need to look at the “Law of Attraction” devotees who merrily line the pockets of the LOA gurus without question.

I have a law I’d like to add for the LOA fools – “Andy’s Law: You can always get rich by fleecing the poor and needy.” I doubt I am the first to suggest this; it’s been a principle for getting disgustingly rich for millennia.

While I am at it, here’s another Andy’s Law: “You can get even richer by convincing people that they are ugly.” The cosmetic surgery industry is worth billions and growing daily. Just before Christmas, I spent the weekend in an expensive part of London, hob-nobbing with the super-rich. Many of the women had had so much plastic surgery that some of them looked disturbingly like startled burn victims.

You already know the basic commercial principle: convince people that they lack something and provide them with the solution. Thus, to be another fake board or accreditation body, just convince people that the field lacks ethics and standards and charge them for the illusion of credibility. A lovely certificate here, a posh-looking logo there. “Anyone for insurance? Here’s our cheap deal”, and so on.

Let’s be realistic. Therapy: It’s getting paid for talking to people. Only therapists can fuck that up so royally that it requires regulation and insurance.

At business workshops, therapists ask me, “Companies who?” when I mention Companies House. One person even asked, “How do I join?” Therapists love joining things, getting that sense of belonging, and building a better community. It is the warm and fuzzy factor. The same therapists frequently appear to be unaware that there are real-world laws governing how one may advertise themselves and conduct business. “Warm and fuzzy” doesn’t always cut it. Basic honesty and good business practice have been sadly lacking in the therapy industry since long before the days of the medicine shows and snake oil salesmen. I doubt it is ever going to be any different. The fraud just evolves according to the latest trend and fashion. To the naive customer (often poor, frequently needy, and sometimes not at all pretty to look at), it can be very difficult to distinguish between a new discovery and a simple commercial lie.

The alternative therapy and medicine field is a fertile breeding ground for a never-ending number of organisations that all claim to be “promoting standards and good ethics”. Of course, one big thing that makes the field look so suspect is the sheer number of fake groups competing with each other to be representative of the field. I’m sure it is a status thing. He with the biggest status gets the most cash, right?

But anyway, back to those pesky business and trading laws.

The spoilsports at Companies House are quite explicit about what can be used as a trading name. To quote:

To use “British” in a name:

If you wish to use the word at the beginning of your company name, you would need to show that the company is pre-eminent in its field by providing independent support from a representative body, trade association or government department.

If the word is used elsewhere in the name, you would be expected to show that your company is substantial in relation to its activity or product and that it is eminent in its own field.

The company’s registered office must be in England and Wales.

To use “Board” in a name:

To use this word, the company must be
a governing, supervisory or representative body of an activity, trade, business or profession; an independent advisory body; or a deliberative assembly.

Evidence must be produced to show that the company will be what it claims and that it has the support of whoever it claims it will govern, supervise, or look to it for expertise. In addition, the applicant should produce independent support from a representative body or government department

It is pretty clear to anyone who cares to look that the British Board of NLP was none of these things. Unfortunately, a quick bit of googling shows that so many therapists, desperate for some kind of credibility, still claim that they are “approved” and/or “accredited” by the British Board of NLP. Some even like to use the term “fully approved”—after all, it sounds superior to being merely “approved”, does it not? After all, no one would like to be “just a little bit approved of”.

It’s all lies, of course. In an attempt to not look like quacks, so many therapists reveal themselves to be merely naive quacks that tell lies.

It was over the Christmas period, whilst taking it easy and allowing the Christmas pudding and custard to migrate its way through my system, that I did a bit of Googling. I’m getting old. I am now that man that requires children to play quietly whilst I rest for a bit after a big family dinner. This is worrying, as I am not even 40 yet.

Dressed in my Christmas jumper and slippers and mentally preparing for family charades and noisy children’s games. What I learned to my mock horror was that, despite being a hypnotherapist of many years’ standing, I was not a member of The British Institute of Hypnotherapy. I didn’t even know that there was a British Institute for Hypnotherapy (BIH). But, you see, there’s a really good reason for that. Basically, there isn’t such a thing as the British Institute for Hypnotherapy. They are just a married couple happily collecting the cash over there in deepest, darkest Essex.

This is, of course, not to be confused with “The British Institute of Hypnotherapy and NLP”, an entirely unrelated organisation that I am sure is perfectly legitimate.

A quick search of Companies House’s webcheck service revealed no such registration exists for BIH.

It’s another scam. A blatant fraud. Another minor criminal enterprise collecting cash from gullible therapists desperate to look “professional”. And whilst I’m on this theme, am I the only one that finds the concept of “gullible therapists” just a little bit worrying? Call me old-fashioned, but I tend to expect therapists to be a little more worldly-wise than so many of them appear to be.

Just to be clear (for when the BIH sends me that pointless legal letter): The British Institute of Hypnotherapy is a scam, and I am calling for the owners of this little criminal organisation to be prosecuted… or tarred and feathered or something. But I have no doubt the British criminal justice system will leap into action and promptly do bugger all. Mind you, I’m a little bit biased and still sore from being threatened with prosecution because my refuse bin lid was more than 5 degrees over the permitted level. A bin lid is allowed to be open. Yes, here in the UK, it is indeed a crime to put too much rubbish into the bin. The threat of prosecution was issued because it was only the previous week that the binmen had located an offending bit of polystyrene block in the purple recycling bin, and for that, I was issued a written warning.

Passing the buck, I assured the council that my housemate would be thoroughly educated on what is not recyclable. “What exactly can be recycled then?” he asked me. “Bugger if I know,” I replied, and for the following week, all rubbish went into the main rubbish bin in order to avoid getting into trouble for destroying the planet with a piece of polystyrene block for a second time; hence, the overfilling by 5 degrees.

To recap:

To use “British” in a business name:

If you wish to use the word at the beginning of your company name, you would need to show that the company is pre-eminent in its field by providing independent support from a representative body, trade association or government department.

If the word is used elsewhere in the name, you would be expected to show that your company is substantial in relation to its activity or product and that it is eminent in its own field.

The company’s registered office must be in England and Wales.

And that word, “institute”? Well, Companies House has the following to say:

Approval for use… is normally given only to those organisations which are carrying out research at the highest level or to professional bodies of the highest standing. You will need to explain why there is a need for the proposed institute or institution and that it has appropriate regulations or examination standards. You will need evidence of support from other representative and independent bodies.

Well, that wraps that up then. Is Essex really the centre for research in hypnotherapy at the highest level? I somehow doubt it, although I did think the recent TV series, “The Only Way is Essex,” showed the Essex crew to be a bunch of remarkably nice people, if a little odd and a bit orange at times. My grandmother lived in Essex, and as a child, I spent many a happy holiday week in Southend on Sea, and I still visit there occasionally. If they ever book another hypnotist such as the Kersal, I’ll be sure to ask if he’s a member of the British Institute.

So, have you paid money to the BIH? If so, what on earth were you thinking? Demand your money back immediately!

Did you pay to attend a course that was “accredited” and/or “approved” (in full!) by the BIH? Well, they lied to you, the rotters!

The British Institute of Hypnotherapy does not exist. It is a scam, a lie.

The funniest thing about all of this? On the BIH website, they hilariously write:

Warning. There is only one BIH, and the BIH wishes to disassociate itself from any email or other correspondence which you may receive claiming that the British Institute of Hypnotherapy is under new ownership. Any such claim is an entirely fictitious scam and should be totally disregarded.

I really couldn’t make this up. Just too funny.

There are plenty of other fake “British Institutes”, “British Councils”, “Boards” and so on. But more on those shenanigans later.

A shared coronavirus narrative is emerging among NLPers. It’s not good and is extremely concerning to me. I hope that it will be concerning to you too, but in order for this to make sense, I need to explain a little, so please bear with me.

You see, it’s the same as when a group of psychics “investigates” a haunted house. Each has their own imaginings of the property’s hidden history, and slowly a shared narrative begins to form that they can all agree on. Groups of psychics cannot disagree, as it undermines the validity of the psychic art.

The existence of psychism must go unquestioned. So they unwittingly converge on a shared set of beliefs that form the rules by which the narrative emerges.

But it’s not just psychics and mediums that do this. NLPers do this too.

Now, before anyone complains that Austin is attacking NLP again, I am not, nor have I ever done so. No matter what people might have told you.

It is many of its trainers and practitioners that I attack. And I do so freely, without concern about “harming NLP.”

If I were to write the same about mathematicians, the act of doing so would not be an attack on algebra or on simple arithmetic. It would merely be an attack upon morons who identify themselves with mathematics. The mathematician might be a dipstick, but 2+2 will still equal 4. The validity of the equation would go unharmed.

Oh, and in addition to this, I have a simple request. When people tell you of things I have allegedly done or claimed, do please ask them for actual evidence. They will tell you something like, “Well, I have heard it on good authority” or some other such falsity that allows them to support their belief.

The faithful rarely require evidence. It’s all just a question of faith and a higher authority to rely on for support, which sounds a bit like religion to me.

Religion is a social system built upon fabrication, and no one is allowed to ask for evidence. Evidence is buried deep in the past, and the truth is revealed only through conviction and faith. Those who fail to experience the evidence themselves are the ones who lack faith. This can be rectified by learning the script of that particular social system and repeating it endlessly to themselves in the form of scripture study and prayer. All the while, they may be exposed to the failings of the social system, but this must be disregarded. They must pray more. Study their scripture more.

Learn the scripture.
Learn the script.
Learn the scripture.
Learn the script.
Repeat the script to others.

However, to question why that preacher needs the mansion and Rolls-Royces whilst the congregation struggles to pay their medical bills is to turn away from the script. To question what the priest wants with that boy is to challenge the authority and sanctity of the church and to challenge the existence of the god they serve. So the faithful turn a blind eye. They silence the victim while shunning and slandering anyone who tries to speak out. As anyone who has worked with victims of religious communities will be aware, the crimes committed by community leaders against the most vulnerable are actively covered up by the community. It spoils the narrative that “we are the good and righteous people” to do otherwise.

The heretics get burnt. To ask for evidence is to question the speaker’s integrity, and such behaviour must not be allowed.

Speaking of which, the shit-posting across Facebook in response to my previous blog post and FB rants has been quite prolific.

Here’s my favourite:

Vague-posting of this type is a favourite gaslighting technique of Schrödinger’s Douchebag because when asked who they are referring to, they get to say the following:

Of course, when called out on it like I am doing here, I can be simply dismissed as some kind of self-important paranoid, something about which few people would disagree.

I don’t win myself too many friends by calling out righteous people as cranks and charlatans. No one likes to think they’ve been fooled.

Meanwhile, as with religious communities, stories of the miraculous abound. I know of several trainers who attribute their cancer recovery to their NLP knowledge and skills, but of course, they neglect to tell you about the surgery, the chemotherapy, the radiotherapy, the expert medical care, and so on. One such trainer neglects to tell you that their “cancer” wasn’t really cancer in the traditional sense of understanding, and in the majority of cases, this condition resolves spontaneously without intervention. In this individual’s case, it was treated medically (a simple drug taken orally usually resolves it), but again, this detail gets missed from the collective narrative. We are told endless stories of miraculous healing and spontaneous remission and how these remissions can be “modelled” and thus replicated using NLP.

Because of my neurology background, I have often heard the story of the amazing cure of a Parkinson’s patient who was part of a stage demonstration by a famous trainer. They saw it with their own eyes, so they know it is true.

Well, sorry, but plot twist here. I was the one who sent that Parkinson’s patient as a demo subject, and I know him personally. I was also the one who did the follow-up with him afterwards. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you what the actual outcome was. He is not a happy man at being used as one of these success stories.

So in the background of this NLP-coronavirus narrative are dozens of healing stories, many of which are false, misrepresentations, or just stories of Chinese whispers. Two essential aspects of these miraculous cures are that (i) the doctors did not know what they were doing and kept using the wrong script, giving negative suggestions, which we all know can make things worse, and (ii) upon recovery, the doctors were amazed and said they’d never seen anything like this before.

This is classic FOAF-lore and should alert you to the probability of the story being bullshit.

(FOAF-lore: https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Urban_legend)

Against this background, we also have something else: positivity.

There are hundreds of research papers demonstrating the relationship between health and all manner of psychosocial things such as belief, attitude, mood, and kindness. Basically, positive beliefs, happy moods, and good relationships are good for your health.

All well and good. Will it cure cancer? Of course it fucking won’t!

Chemotherapy, radiotherapy, and decent medical care might help, though, and survival rates are increasing all the time as medical advances continue unabated.

But given the clinical evidence that positive belief improves T4 and having been indoctrinated into the miracles of self-healing, these half-witted NLPers and their ilk join up the non-existent dots to conclude it will cure cancer.

The emergent narrative is the same as that of the religious fools. Faith and piety will save you from disease and death.

Let me present a simple example of what I mean here. This is from a “Master Trainer” in the context of how to survive the global pandemic that is currently devastating communities, economies and countless lives:

“It is important to look after yourself both physically and mentally; stress and anxiety can lower the immune system. Being both mentally and physically fit will help you through this challenging time.”

Now, admittedly, this “Master Trainer” is not claiming that NLP can cure the ‘Rona, but this shows the motif: to stay well, do not “lower the immune system”. As someone who pays a lot of attention to metaphor, I cannot help but wonder if all this “raising” and “lowering” of the immune system is using the metaphor of a drawbridge – a defensive barrier. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I am certain of it, but you may like to put your concept of this in the comment section below.

So, do not lower your immune system. Lowering your immune system will get you killed.

And here it is. This is the emergent narrative of the NLPers in this global pandemic: with NLP, you can control your immune system.

Just look at the replies to the post from fellow NLP trainers, including an “Advanced Master Trainer.” I’ve removed identifying data because I have no beef with these people individually, but I’m posting it instead to highlight the collective insanity of NLPers that is emerging during a global pandemic that will kill countless numbers of people.

Now, I am trying to be kind here. But let’s be real. This is the most idiotic reasoning anyone can have in the face of a highly infectious and potentially fatal disease. And let’s be clear, the ‘Rona doesn’t kill people because they are negative. People die from a thick and sticky mucous build-up in their lungs, and they slowly and horrifically asphyxiate as dedicated and overworked healthcare professionals try to save them. These same healthcare professionals are themselves dying off at an alarming rate from the same horrific fate they have repeatedly witnessed dozens of others succumbing to.

Meanwhile, these self-aggrandising elites of the NLP world pontificate on their expertise on immunity. A subject in which they demonstrate very little knowledge, but as Dunning-Krugar suggests, the stupid are too stupid to realise they are stupid.

Ahh… forget it. These people don’t deserve kindness. Why? Because they pride themselves on being masters of persuasion and influence, they claim for themselves high status, which they laud over others at every opportunity, and here they are working as a collective, persuading people. They just need to trust in the immune systems.

Like the cult leader leading his people to drink the cyanide-laced Kool-Aid, these cult leaders encourage blind faith in their own particular saviour. In the case of these particular NLPers – and believe me, there are dozens more like them posting the same narrative prolifically – the current god is “the immune system”. Until this global catastrophe, the previous god was “the unconscious”, in which we ought to place our trust. But the new god has emerged to be worshipped in these troubling times.

And like the whistleblower who exposes the hidden abuse within a community, I shall be accused of bringing shame upon the good name of the NLP. It is the whistleblower that gets shamed, rarely the perpetrators of the abuse or whatever. They and the fabrication that they represent continue to be protected as everyone rallies to oust the troublemaker.

In the mighty name of God, I heal thee.

In the name of Christ I banish all evil.
In the world of The Unconscious, I shall trust.
And the Immune System I shall worship.
For thou art with me
And I shall fear no evil.
My Unconscious Mind shall guide me.
And my immune system shall protect me.

Begone, naysayer; shame and condemnation be upon thy soul.

And of course, there is a punchline here. But it is yet to be written. As it stands at the moment, there exists the possibility that we are just at the very beginning of the pandemic. It is a troubling thought. This means that, by percentage, very few people have actually been affected directly, and there is a probability that none of these NLPers have yet themselves been affected. Again, looking at the probabilities, most are relatively young and healthy, so they may not be affected too badly. We can be sure of hearing the great stories of how they used their NLP (while tappers will be using tapping, homoeopaths use magic water, and so on) to effect self-healing. It won’t have anything to do with how the virus affects people so differently.

But there is the other possibility. A top-level NLPer dies of the ‘Rona, the new Satan that the religion of NLP must fight against.

How will they handle this cognitive dissonance? I predict there will be two responses: (i) he wasn’t a “real” NLPer (s/he was not one of the chosen) and/or (ii) s/he made a choice (s/he made peace with, or rejected, his/her god) and gave up the ghost.

I’ve seen an example of this firsthand as an assistant trainer on a high-level NLP course. One evening during the training, one of the trainers was mugged on the street. In the following days in the backrooms, this became an object of hilarity as they all ridiculed and joked about his lack of “sensory acuity” and how much of an idiot he was. It was extraordinarily unpleasant behaviour from the other assistants, who had spent the previous few days kissing the same trainer’s ass.

Loyalty is not something these people appear to have in abundance.

Let the backlash begin.

Integral Eye Movement Therapy Training in Rochester, New York.

Andrew T. Austin is the developer of Metaphors of Movement (MoM), and Mark Andreas is an author, coach, and trainer of MoM, Core Transformation, and The Wholeness Process.

Find out more at https://www.metaphorsofmovement.co.uk and https://www.andreasnlp.com