So, I got the ‘rona…

Everyone say “awwwww…”

This is me 12 days after the onset of symptoms. The first week it was mostly just a high temperature, headaches and severe joint pain. Then I had two days where I felt remarkably better and thought I was over it.  Next thing I know, I was in a whole world of brain fog, fatigue and breathing issues. This lasted an additional two weeks.  I’m now in recuperation where I can tolerate being up and about for an hour or so at a time.

My wife commented yesterday I must be much better now as I’ve started ranting again. She is right, I have been ranting a lot these past couple of days.

Fucking alphabet therapists. Yeah, them again. I thought my contempt for them was already off the charts, but with each day that passes, I find my chart was simply too small. There really is no end to the extremes of stupidity that these idiots will go to. Yeah yeah, not all of them, not everyone, plenty of you lovely people are alphabet therapists and are wonderful, but you know I’m not talking about you right? I’m referring to them, the idiot ones who give the rest of us a very bad name.

Now, I really want to name and shame the assholes that I am talking about here, but I’ve been threatened by Laura that if I do then I’ll be in trouble.  I don’t know what sort of trouble this would be, but she finished it off with the rather sinister, “…you don’t wanna find out.”  Yeah, so there’s that to consider.

So, here we go. First, let me begin by giving you a background to this particular rant.  You know I do stuff with metaphors, right?

It’s already been well documented that the prevailing political and media narrative is predominantly using the “war metaphor” when referring to COVID19.

This metaphor would have me in a battle with an invisible enemy that is being fought on the front lines by medics and nurses. These are our new heroes and heroines in the trenches and on the front lines of this endless fight.

As a survivor, I have managed to evade the enemy and not become a casualty of the war. In the UK media this week the main narrative is about the lack of personal protective equipment (PPE) which is required on the front lines with urgency. Last week the dominant narrative was the discussion about enforced rationing to prevent the depletion of vital supplies in the supermarkets. This week we are being told that domestic purchasing and use of PPE is taking it away from those heroes and heroines fighting on the front lines. The selfishness of the civilians is going to compromise the security and safety of those fighting this pandemic. Government strategy and leadership are being called into question.

Yesterday another lead story on LBC radio was whether the prime minister was attending all the COBRA meetings or was missing them due to illness (The modern-day COBRA (Cabinet Office Briefing Rooms) is equivalent to the older “War Cabinet”). On social media, I am seeing pro-conservatives comparing Boris Johnson to Winston Churchill whilst the anti-tory faction are comparing him to either a clown or to Hitler.  This has already been seeded through since The Prime Minister had already written a book titled, “The Churchill Factor” with a cover design that was no mere accident.

Meanwhile, whether it be via text chat or real life, everyone seems to say goodbye with “stay safe.”

On the local forums of social media, neighbours are “calling out” each other for alleged social crimes. Mostly for not doing the “clap for nurses” enthusiastically enough and accusing each other of not being sufficiently patriotic. Counter accusations of snitching and siding with the enemy are common. In these cases, the “enemy” is defined by a sense of patriotism,  i.e. those who are pro-Brexit are patriotic according to other pro-Brexiteers, and unpatriotic according to the Remainers. And vice versa.

Much like Godwin’s Law states that all internet discussions end when the inevitable comparison to Nazi’s is made, on the local forum, Farage’s Law dictates that within 12 comments on a local forum the subject always gets switched to an argument about Brexit. This happens no matter how the original topic started out. Lost a cat? Everyone will argue about Brexit. Need an electrician? Fucking Brexit!

In response to the lockdown, many are saying that their freedom is under attack. It’s like the Blitz, it’s a police state, it’s martial law. The others are saying we all need to stay indoors in order to keep everyone safe.

To support those on the front lines volunteer staff are being called up to help the NHS.

Your country needs you!

When all this is over and the war on this disease is won, I’m expecting there to be an epidemic of little flags and bunting everywhere. There will be memorials statues and cenotaphs, medals, honours and parades. Victory will be celebrated.

That is the background. Grand shows of patriotism and national unity which is great for everyone except the progressives and woke-liberals who hate that sort of thing. They’ll probably console themselves by inventing a new gender identity and dying their hair a strange new colour.

So, why have I been ranting? Well, I am now seeing alphabet therapists directly compare themselves to nurses and doctors in the front lines. I shit you not.

I am not allowed to post any screenshots here.  I asked Laura for permission, she didn’t answer, she just gave that look that all men all over the world know and understand.  I was allowed to make this though:

Clap for Coaches

Narcissism is rife amongst personal development gurus, alphabet therapists, meditation teachers, NLP trainers, “master trainers” (lol!), life coaches, the lot of them and now a new thing to add to the stupendous levels of bullshit claims these people tend to make for themselves, we can add that of Stolen Valor.

For those who are unaware of such things, Stolen Valor is an epidemic-level problem in the West. It’s weird men (and it is nearly always men) who buy themselves a uniform and then attend parades, events and so forth pretending to be a military veteran. Do a search on youtube for “stolen valor” – it’s the sheer numbers of them that is so mindboggling. In the UK it is known as “Walting” and these guys are referred to as “Walts” after Walter Mitty. They get caught so frequently by genuine soldiers mostly because of crass errors in their uniforming or badging. As an aside, I went to school with one of the UK’s leading Walters, he’s been at it since he left school, do a search on “Michael Tierney Walt” and you’ll see the websites dedicated to tracking his current exploits.

I have long claimed that Walting is exceptionally common in the world of the alphabet therapist. It is facilitated by the organisations of people also keen on walting too. This is why we see the endless illusion of qualification created by numerous me-too imitation registration bodies, societies, associations, guilds and boards all claiming to be protecting and maintaining standards of the ‘profession’. These are the organisations that didn’t want to join the people who actually developed the work themselves (I’m thinking here of the likes of Bandler, Grinder and other innovators who each have their own original organisations representing their work but yet these other assholes instead figured they’d do them a favour and set up a rival organisation to protect the standards on their behalf, etc.)

The majority of these are just fake.  Ironically the best of these tend to be those who are in it purely for the money. You see, they know who and what they are and how to maintain interest for that all-important recurring subscription payment. The rest of them are in it for the status and sense of importance that it affords them. These latter organisations are ten-a-penny and keep popping up all the time, but they rarely last very long.

But it is the sheer numbers of Walts in the world of therapy and personal development that I find so astounding. You’ll find terms such as “fully insured”, “fully qualified”, “Internationally accredited”, “international recognised” along with grandiose claims such as “master trainer”, “master life coach” and they talk of their 10-day “master practitioner” course as their “masters.”  Over-inflated claims of success and past occupations is common too. Everyone works miracles in the shortest time, they all have coached and treated thousands of people each. They get six-figure incomes, celebrity clients, they live the dream.  Well, in their imaginations and on social media at least. The ones I know in real life are lonely, permanently anxious and invariably as neurotic as a sack of gibbons.

With all this in the background, scroll to page 16 and then write to the ANLP and ask if they ever thought to check the claims made here before publishing.
https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/70767893.pdf (“From Bam Bam to Tap Tap”). Now, for all I know, they might be true. After all, who am I to question it?

So, here is what we have: as mentioned in previous blog posts we have dozens of alphabet therapists and trainers claiming that they can prevent or cure coronavirus. This dumbfuckery is astounding to me, but well, their great theory has not yet been tested by reality.

So far only a small percentage of the population has been infected with COVID19 and I am the only person I know in the therapy world who has been infected so far.  I just know this will change over time; rather worryingly, the chances are strong that everyone will get this disease at some point.

What we know from the data so far is that the level of effect upon the infected ranges from nothing at all through to death.  I got it mildly by all accounts and didn’t need hospital treatment. So, what will happen when these alphabet therapists start to get it.

Well, several things will begin to appear:

  1. The more narcissistic individuals will move from extreme hero position to an extreme victim. They will post voluminously on their social media to elicit the much-needed sympathy to maintain their narcissistic supply. There will be much competitive suffering.
  2. Those with the mildest symptoms will attribute it to their self-healing abilities, proven techniques and seven-step systems. We will get to hear all about it repeatedly on social media postings.
  3. We will hear grandiose tales of heroism and the conquering of this disease.

This pandemic has revealed well the extent of the narcissism amongst the alphabet therapists as well as giving them the opportunity to reveal themselves for who they are. But the pandemic has also provided a new opportunity – a social narrative that will allow a whole new form of Walting for the civilian population of therapists.

Once all this is over, we will hear hints of the endless tales of how these idiots saved their clients through their coaching techniques, “raising” their immune systems, defeating the infection where no doctor could, and of how they fought in the trenches and front lines. And it has already started. Just look on social media and youtube.

And as ever, who will be asking for the evidence? I doubt many of the imitation ‘standards bodies’ will be bothering. They rarely do.

 

 

 

2 Comments

  • You are much much better, I think.

  • An excellent post. I must however, as a card carrying vegan, take umbrage with your sack of gibbons comment. To my limited zoological knowledge gibbons are not known for their anxiety, although a google search discovered anxiety treatment in Gibbons Down. I do not know quite how to parse this sentence though. I am well aware of ‘gibbering monkeys’ and am wondering if the gibb part is related to a gibbon. In which case, I still disagree.

    Yours in primates,

    Al

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