A few years ago, at a workshop in Leeds with Frank Farrelly, Farrelly was asked what advice he’d give to therapists.
One suggestion was to “Grow a thicker skin!” I like this. Frank also talked about “therapist eaters” – clients or patients who consume therapists, exhausting their resources and encouraging professional and emotional burnout.
It was with this in mind that I started thinking about patterns that some client groups present, and my mind turned to many conversations I have had with colleagues about alcoholics and my own experiences in working with problem drinkers.
Problem drinkers seem always prepared to take offence at something the therapist does or says.
It is almost as if they are looking for a reason to get upset and terminate the session. I have had many alcohol-dependent clients deride or “slag off” their previous therapist and complain to me about how absurd that therapist was.
In the past 10 years of change-work, I have had three clients get up and walk out of a routine session. All three of them were drinkers. All three of them were women.
I have only ever had two clients refuse to pay.
Both of them were men. Both of them were problem drinkers.