23!

The Cabal of the 23rd Initiate FAQ(u)

Is it true that a number of 23rd Initiates have infiltrated other counter-culture movements?

Part of the denials emerging from the Original Cabal appear to confirm that a number of other groups have indeed been infiltrated and even taken over by the 23rd Initiates. Various magickal lodges, psychogeographical groups, universities, and even public hospitals are also believed to have been successfully infiltrated. Anecdotal evidence appears to point to a number of animated cartoon producers having been initiated into The Cabal, including some film producers and artists. Despite his insistence that he is not, in fact, the head of the Bavarian Illuminati, Robert Anton Wilson is now considered to be legally the nominal head of the Order of 23rd Initiates, which The Order is trying to keep secret, even from Mr Wilson himself.

What are the differences between “a cabal”, “The Original Cabal”, “The Order of 23rd Initiates”, “Agents of The 23”, and “Agents of Entropy”?

At the time of writing, this is not entirely clear.

What are the methods by which Initiates recognise each other?

It is true that rumours of secret handshakes and symbols abounded towards the end of the late 1960s, but members universally discredited such nonsense with a firm confirmation that such buffoonery was indeed stolen from Masonic and Knights Templar organisations as an act of subterfuge. Instead, it has been repeatedly denied that modes of recognition come in a similar fashion to the Rosicrucians, where a member denies that he is a member of a cabal or is an Initiate. Any such person who implicates themselves as an Initiate is to be immediately disregarded as a crank and should be shunned by all in respectable society. Preferably, they are to be branded with the customary tar and feathers and left tied to a lamppost with a small anxious Highland terrier outside Highgate Cemetery in Central London, UK. Individuals tethered in such a manner will subsequently be collected and processed by The Order and reintegrated back into normal society.

What is the function of a 23rd Initiate?

The function of an Initiate is to continue the work of attempting to prevent the formation and development of Initiates and Cabals, and to promote the evolution of the counterculture by the mechanism of denial.

Does The Cabal really exist?

Rumours have persisted of The Cabal or series of cabals since the mysterious nighttime events of October 1954 in an unnamed location in the middle of South America. Since its inception, the original Cabal of 23rd Initiates has attempted to disband and thus disprove its own existence. However, this manoeuvre immediately failed, and, recognising the success of self-denial, other Cabals were soon trying not to form—each of which immediately took to denying its own existence and connection with The Original Cabal. Each group does not consist of 23 members, and there are not 22 other cabals, none of which are connected with The Original Cabal of 23rd Initiates.

Which countries do not currently have 23rd Initiates operating within them?

In the following countries, the Cabals strongly deny their existence: the United States (7 groups), the United Kingdom (4 groups), Norway (1 group), Germany (1 group), Uzbekistan (2 groups), Nepal (2 groups), Canada (0 groups), Peru (1½ groups), and Mexico (3 groups).

How does a person join such a cabal to become an Initiate?

The Cabal is very selective with regard to who it does not permit entry into The Order. A recent rush of applications has led to a number of embarrassing incidents in Highgate, currently under investigation by a leading animal welfare organisation and the Metropolitan Police—an organisation into which The Order has confirmed a desire to infiltrate. Contact has been achieved via The Network, which does not run a thread through other networks and radical organisations. Potential candidates are observed for a period of 23 years prior to induction into extensive training and initiation protocols before being formally ejected from The Order on the basis that The Order has never really existed and was only ever a figment of the candidate’s fertile imagination.

How is Cabal information passed?

One method by which Cabal information is passed through The Network is thought to be via encrypted printed text. A number of authors and publishing houses appear to contain encrypted messages on page 23 of such printed material. Similarly, chapters and appendices numbered 23 have also been implicated in the transmission of the Encrypted Keys.

And who or what are these authors and publishing houses?

At the time of writing, these details remain unconfirmed. Much of the theory behind The Transmission fell apart following the reported death and orbital jettisoning of Dr Timothy Leary, who displayed a remarkable ability to continue writing books despite his personal death. Mr Wilson continues to publish new material despite repeatedly denying his death, which continues to be reported by Agents of The 23. The reason for this behaviour remains unclear.

Is it true that favourite children’s author William Burroughs started The Original Conspiracy?

No.

Who are the Order’s Secret Chiefs?

Following the inadvertent ousting of Madam Blavatsky’s Secret Chiefs from the Himalayas by a mobile telecommunications company based in Beijing, The Order temporarily adopted five wallabies from East Anglia, United Kingdom, and a small budgie owned by Mrs Palmer in Ontario, Canada, as nominal Heads of Order. Denials of the existence of The Five Wallabies were terminated after they began appearing as roadkill in March 2001. Mrs Palmer’s budgie remains alive and well at the time of writing, despite now being 33 years old. Replacements are currently being sought.

Who are Luther Blissett and Louise Parker?

Luther Blissett is a football player, and Louise Parker was a seminar attendee who was unfortunate enough to lose her name badge.

Is it true that the British children’s TV series “The Wombles” was an exposé of the alleged structure of The Original Cabal?

The Wombles featured a secret organisation of small creatures who conspired to keep Wimbledon Common clean of litter. Under the guidance of Uncle Bulgaria, they made good use of the things that they found. For several years, the existence of the Wombles was thought to be a fable until ownership was internationally outlawed in 1983.

Which dates does The Order consider sacred?

The Major Festival Days are March 2nd and May 23rd. Minor Festival Days are generally called at random and frequently cancelled without notice. The function behind such dates remains unknown, but it is confirmed that haggis does not play a part.

Does The Order recognise the Sirius Connection?

No. The Order recognises that two common delusions are that of the Swollen Tongue and off-planet communication with Sirius. Initiates are therefore required to wear tin-foil helmets at all times.

Does The Order have any sacred symbols?

The Sacred Animal is the tortoise. The Sacred Colour is olive green. The Sacred Plant is the lotus. The Sacraments are the letter K and the Holy Tea of Life. The Hidden Word is “Aim”.

Does The Order have any connection with Nikola Tesla or back-engineered technology?

Possibly not as much as it would like.

What is “Snuh”?

Snuh began as a newsgroup test signal and grew exponentially. No one understands or controls Snuh, and attempts at infiltration have proven futile.

Is there a connection with the Masonic 23rd Degree?

No. However, on May 23rd, 1983, a renegade group secretly performed parts of the Rose Croix ritual while dressed as pumpkins and watched all episodes of Twin Peaks.

What about David Beckham’s signing with Real Madrid?

Nothing to do with us.

Is Heidi Klum really the head of the Illuminati?

Not at all.