Jealousy is the powerful complex of emotions experienced at the loss, real or imagined, of something or someone you believe is yours, whereas envy concerns what you don’t have and would like to possess. Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. Jealousy is a real-life issue that plagues many relationships. Jealousy is Insecurity This is an important point. Jealousy is usually a combination of fear and anger; a fear of losing something, and anger that someone is “moving in on” something that you feel belongs only to you. Jealousy can alert you to what you want, and what is important to you. Jealousy is often a symptom of low self-esteem.
While men and women may get jealous of different things, our jealous behaviour is often similar — evil glares, threatening comments, and sometimes even violent and dangerous actions against potential rivals. Furthermore, women who cheat on their husbands do so when they are most likely to conceive, but have sex with their spouses when they are least likely to conceive.
Delusional jealousy, Morbid jealousy, or Othello syndrome is a psychiatric disorder in which a person holds a delusional belief that their spouse or sexual partner is being unfaithful. Delusional jealousy is more often found in males than females, and it can occur regardless of an individual’s sexual orientation. Jealousy heightens emotions, making love feel stronger and sex more passionate. The majority of women interviewed were troubled more about a partner’s emotional infidelity, while the men were most upset about sexual transgressions. As painful as a sexual transgression might be, what women have always wanted to know is, “Do you love her?”
As much as we would like to deny it, most people struggle with jealous emotions at some point in their lives and, in marriage, it is one of those common marriage problems that can develop from feelings of insecurity or neglect. We now live in a society where marriages are often as a result of a second, a fifth or any number of relationships and are, in many cases, second or subsequent marriages. Another of the common marriage problems is that husbands feel neglected when a new baby arrives no matter how much they wanted the child in the first place.
Jealousy is a “complex reaction” because it involves such a wide range of emotions, thoughts and behaviours. Jealousy is really a form of envy but implies a feeling of personal claim which in envy or covetousness is wanting. But if we become more Authentic, we move beyond jealousy.